She Is Not Your Rehab, developed by Matt and Sarah Brown Mnzm has been pivotal in New Zealand, helping men manage their emotions by encouraging them to confront their childhood trauma and take responsibility for their healing.
This approach transforms their pain rather than passing it on to others and in response to the urgent need to tackle high rates of family violence, they developed the innerBoy app. This tool addresses mental health issues, trauma, and abuse, significantly reducing the risk of individuals with childhood trauma resorting to violence.
Through a partnership between She Is Not Your Rehab and DVConnect, the innerBoy app is available in Australia and this collaboration has enhanced the effectiveness of DVConnect’s response to family violence by fostering a path of empathy and accountability for those at risk of using violence.
Asked what the inspiration was behind She is Not Your Rehab, New Zealand born Samoan author and renowned communicator Matt Brown said it was birthed from his personal lived experience and journey through the cycles of abuse he witnessed growing up.
“My mother was a rehabilitation centre for my father, who was an alcoholic, and in and out of prison for his violence,” he said.
“It cost her everything and I vowed that I would one day redeem her story.
“Both my wife Sarah and I witnessed the impact of intergenerational trauma on families in our own community here in New Zealand, and recognised that there was a deeply rooted culture of unspoken pain and shame, particularly amongst men.
“I saw too many men suffering in silence, with nowhere to turn, perpetuating cycles of hurt and harm on their loved ones.
“We wanted to create a space (initially in our barbershops) where men could experience genuine empathy while the space to heal, find accountability, and build relationships rooted in respect and understanding.
“This movement is about healing and it grew organically to prison programs, a best-selling book, viral social media campaign and now an app for men.”
She Is Not Your Rehab is really about inviting men to the conversation of breaking cycles of harm by helping men face the wounds they’ve carried, often since childhood.
Their childhood trauma wasn’t their fault but their healing is absolutely their responsibility.
These programs, workshops, support groups, public talks, campaigns and resources are really about creating a generation of cycle breakers through self-reflection, building self-awareness and personal accountability.
Through this work, Matt, Sarah and their team aim to create a generation where breaking cycles of harm becomes the norm, paving the way for healthier and more compassionate relationships everywhere.
With the launch of the innerBoy app in Australia, She is Not Your Rehab has shown that domestic and family violence is not confined to any one country or community; it’s a pervasive issue that affects all of us.
“Education and awareness are crucial for shifting the harmful norms around masculinity and exposing the toxic expectations society places on men.
“Every day, women are subjected to physical, emotional, and sexual abuse—a reality so normalised that many have become desensitized to it. Real change requires that we, as a society, face the uncomfortable truth of how we’ve arrived here, acknowledge the pain beneath the violence, and commit to community transformation.
“This commitment can’t stop at just awareness; it requires action and a willingness to reshape how we raise our young men and support them through life.
“Positive masculinity is about teaching boys that real strength lies in self-awareness, empathy, and accountability.
“Boys are often boxed into a version of masculinity that’s unrealistic and damaging—they’re groomed to believe they can’t cry, can’t show vulnerability, and can’t express their feelings outside of anger.
“Positive masculinity means breaking this pattern, teaching young men to express the full range of their emotions constructively rather than destructively.
“By offering mentorship and safe spaces for expression, we can help young men avoid reaching a breaking point, where feelings they’ve buried their whole lives explode into violence against themselves or others.
“Mentorship in schools is crucial to give young men role models who embody positive masculinity, resilience, and respect.
“Boys need examples of how to express vulnerability and handle disappointment and conflict without resorting to violence.
“Many boys who lack strong, positive male figures learn masculinity from damaging sources—be it certain elements of media, music, or celebrities who embody entitlement and misogyny.
“Creating mentorship programs that support young men can offer healthier, constructive definitions of what it means to be a man.
“The best way we can teach is by role-modelling.”
The innerBoy app is free with no wait lists and is designed to help men navigate their inner lives, providing tools for self-reflection, emotional awareness, and accountability.
The app is suitable for low levels of literacy and can be done each day in under 39 minutes by video lessons, exercises to personalise that lesson, guided reflections, and resources that encourage men to explore their inner world with compassion.
It’s a digital space where men can start to break away from the limitations imposed by hyper-masculinity and take steps toward healthy relationships and self-understanding.
Launched in Australia on 1 October, partnering with DV Connect to also offer a free helpline for any men using the app, visit InnerBoy.au for more details.
