For Beyond DV founding director Carolyn Robinson, as a mother, supporting her own daughter through a domestic violence experience was one of the most difficult things she has ever done.
Hearing her daughter reflecting on experiences that she’d had as a teenager dating young men, and her realisation that there were often red flags that she didn’t recognise, led Carolyn to the realisation that as a society, we need to better equip our young people with knowledge of the signs of healthy and unhealthy relationships.
Carolyn said if we don’t do this, we’re setting our young people up to accept unhealthy behaviours as being a normal part of relationships.
“As an educator for more than 35 years, my focus was supporting children and young people to reach their potential by meeting them where they were at,” she said.
“I’ve brought that same approach to our charity and the work that we are doing in the Primary Prevention space, particularly with the two Teen Apps that we have developed.
“We know from research that young people spend a significant time each day online and we also know that they are increasingly turning to online sources to find information about topics including relationships, so launched the free Ask a Mate App.”
Over the years, Carolyn said the Beyond DV team had some really impactful collaborations with other organisations that are also committed to ending domestic and family violence.
“Prior to developing the Apps, we held a series of in-person and online workshops called We Need to Talk for parents and their teens, involving Queensland Police, DVConnect, Small Steps 4 Hannah and brave, young survivor advocates.
“On a national level, over the past 12 months we have been collaborating with the Chief Justice of the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia who’s created his own primary prevention resource using high-profile celebrities to get the message across that Domestic and Family Violence is not okay.
“The Chief Justice recently convened a National Forum on DFV Prevention in Melbourne and I was honoured to present at the forum, sharing information about our Ask a Mate project.
“I met and, in some cases, reunited with, so many other incredible people from the sector.
“To be in a room with so many committed individuals was truly energising and brought real hope.”
When it comes to the Ask a Mate project, Carolyn has been truly humbled by the level of support in the community for the initiatives Beyond DV are creating and delivering.
“Our App was built pro bono by a local App development company, Professor Michael Flood has so generously provided his expertise throughout, the Brisbane Lions have encouraged their players to become Mates and have promoted the App through our annual DV Awareness game with them, and so many incredible high-profile men- sportspeople, musicians, comedians, advocates, experts, activists have given their time to be involved.
“Our focus was on creating a portable tool that young men could use whenever they wished- a Mate in their pocket.
“We wanted them to feel supported, without judgement, to find the answers to really important questions that they had, but may have been afraid to discuss with their mates or their parents.
“We also wanted the information we provided to be evidence-based and consistent, no matter which “Mate” they were listening to.”
Asked what was the inspiration behind the Ask a Mate app, Carolyn said in late 2023, she saw a rise in the media of misogynistic influencers permeating the lives of young men.
“The murder of Lilie James in Sydney shook me to the core.
“That a young men’s sense of entitlement led to a young woman being killed simply because she made the choice not to date him anymore left me horrified and angry.
“I’d already developed a plan for a male version of Love&Learn – now was the time to bring it to life.
“We needed good men, that young men looked up to, to counteract the negative voices they were hearing online.
“I contacted Professor Michael Flood, who I’d known for a number of years since we’d both sat on the White Ribbon State Committee and pitched my idea to him.
“To my relief, he felt there was great merit to the idea and he was on board immediately.
“I approached four diverse schools with a survey for their young men which asked them to give us a couple of questions that they’d like to ask a role model, if they could, about relationships, sex and consent, gender, domestic and sexual violence.”
From there, Carolyn ended up collating fourteen pages of questions.
Some questions were so simple- “How do I make a girl feel comfortable on a first date?” “Do I have to get a girl to sign something to give consent?”
Other questions were quite profound “How do I call out my mates when I don’t agree with what they say about women?” “How can I support a friend who I think has been sexually assaulted?”
She also asked the young men through the survey to give me the names of role models they’d like to answer their questions- from sport, arts, media etc- which was a great list to start with.
“I cold-called an App development company- Moonward Apps and their young chief executive officer, after hearing about my idea, offered to build the App pro bono.
“Having his team of young guys and girls working on the branding, the design and the website has been invaluable.
“We then started approaching high-profile men to become “Mates” on the App.
“Our charity Ambassador Harris Andrews signed on as our first Mate and his influence on others has helped us bring another 22 men on board so far.
“In September Harris received the AFL Jim Stynes Community Leadership Award for his work with Beyond DV and the Ask a Mate project.
“Other “Mates” include Lions players Zac Bailey, Oscar McInerney, Cam Rayner, Dayne Zorko, Australian cricketer Matt Renshaw, World Champion boxer Jeff Horn, Olympic Swimmer Mack Horton, Musician Andrew Dooris, Comedian Christian Hull, Collingwood Captain Darcy Moore, Advocate Tarang Chawla and many other great guys.
“We are continuing to bring new “Mates” onto the app and will survey young men each year to find new topics they’re keen to know more about
“We held our first Mate-to-Mate Emerging Leaders Day at the State Library in November and 250 year 11 young men from 13 schools attended and 13 of our “Mates” flew in from around Australia to talk to them on the topics of Inspiring Leadership, Strong Mental Health and Respectful Relationships.
“The day was so successful that we’ll be expanding to Sydney and Melbourne in 2026.”
When it comes to Beyond DV, they found clearly, from the 14 pages of questions they collated, young men want answers.
“We need to be providing a safe, non-judgemental, well-informed space where young men can ask these questions.
“We also know that young men look up to sports stars, media identities, musicians and many of these high-profile men want to support young men.
“The Ask a Mate project provides them with a credible platform to do this.”
Beyond DV will be launching season one of their Mate Mentor podcast featuring six of their Mates in early 2026, as well as holding their first Ask a Mate Day on 16 May – the International Day of the Boy Child.
“In the lead up to this day, our “Mates” will be encouraging all men to reflect on all the young men in their lives that they could be having a positive influence on, to support their journey to manhood.
“We have plans for community activations, resources etc to support men to better engage with young men.
“This is certainly a time to stand in solidarity with the community to commit to ending domestic and family violence.
“Conversations need to be happening in our communities every single day.”
