Jade McDonald met her abuser on a dating app and within a few weeks they had moved in together.
The verbal and physical abuse began but Jade lived with the hope that things would get better.
Three years later, Jade’s abuser attacked her while she was driving, taking the steering wheel and forcing the car into oncoming traffic.
Jade’s injuries left her learning to walk again but she finally disclosed to authorities the terror she had lived with for so long.
This was the first time Jade had ever joined an online dating website and he seemed like a normal guy her age, but looking back now she sees red flags, but at the time admits to being oblivious.
These red flags included things like getting mad when she got home from work late, or if she didn’t answer her phone within a certain amount of rings.
She admits she didn’t think of them as red flags at the time. she just thought he missed her, or was concerned for her welfare type of thing.
For Jade, she still wakes up some days and goes holy moly I am so much stronger than I realise and I can do so much more than I give myself credit for.
“When I am sharing my story as a Domestic and Family Violence Prevention Council Love ≠ Control campaign ambassador I always encourage people to take it one step at a time – literally,” she said.
“I was lucky enough to have a support network greater than I ever thought, this got me through my hard days, but also, were able to share with me in my triumphs.
“If I could go back and say anything to my 18-year-old self at the start of this relationship it would be, you are worth so much more than he makes you feel!
“Don’t fall for his ‘knight in shining armour’ facade.
“Be vigilant and trust your friends when they question you about your moods and bruises you have on your body.
“Don’t isolate yourself from your mum as she is your best friend and will stick with you no matter what happens.
“Don’t move in with him so early and don’t listen to him when he says your friends and family who have been a part of your life for so much longer than he has don’t want to speak to you anymore.”
Sadly, when it comes to the physical injuries, especially from the car accident, Jade continues to recover, struggling on a daily basis with pain.
“I was in hospital for months, then I was not able to return to work for more than a year.
“I was told I would never be able to work as a nurse again, but the stubborn side of me appeared and I was determined that I was going to be a nurse still, I mean it was my dream since I was a kid, I didn’t want to let this change that after I worked so hard for it.
“I still suffer from nightmares, PTSD, anxiety and depression to this day.
“When I smell certain smells or hear certain noises, I full on go into fight or flight mode and I just cry.
“But I am proud that I can talk about what happened to me without crying now, which is a massive step.
“Every time I speak about my experiences to a group of people, it helps me take a small step closer to recovery and when I have someone come up to me and say, because I heard your story, I gained the courage to leave, or to get help, it really is heartwarming.”
Jade took on the ambassador role because she wants to speak out about what she went through, appreciating that she was young and naïve herself, especially when it came to any type of violence.
“If I can encourage even one person to at least tell someone what they are going through, and to get some sort of help, then I have done my job.
“No family or friends should have to experience of getting a phone call saying your daughter or friend has almost died at the hands of their partner or ex-partner.
“If you are in a domestic or family violence situation, a good place to start is with a trusted friend or family member or if that is not an option, 1800RESPECT is free and can be confidential.
“They will be able to talk you through the next steps in getting out, or preparing to.”
Jade now enjoys spending time with her friends and family whenever she wants to, doing hobbies and things she loves.
“There is nothing better than coming home and not being stressed about what mood my partner is in, or being able to dress how I want, wear make-up when and where I want, even just being able to wear my favourite perfume without being accused of ‘trying to look and smell nice for other men’ – it’s such a nice feeling.”
